Being a relationship is like a long rollercoaster. You have your ups and downs. They make you have an adrenaline rush or scare the living daylights out of you. But the outcome of it all is an experience nonetheless. However, it can become difficult if you or your partner (or even both parties) have anxiety within the relationship.

Being in my first ever relationship and have been diagnosed with anxiety and depression, I have begun to pick up the little things that sometimes make it hard to try and maintain the relationship.

I am hoping that other people can relate to these points that I make out as they are all out of personal experiences. I am in a perfectly happy relationship, but I believe that it is very important for partners to be aware of these signs, whether you’re the person going through the anxiety or the partner.

You start becoming paranoid when they don’t speak to you for hours on end.

 This is probably a very common thing if you undergo anxiety when you’re in a relationship. You Snapchat your boyfriend/girlfriend… Five minutes later, you check your phone and it shows that they have seen your Snapchat. Then your mind goes into overload and you start overthinking every single possible scenario. Are they cheating on you? They don’t want to talk to you? Are you annoying them?

It is honestly a nightmare from my perspective, because, you think that you have done something wrong or that your partner would rather do anything else but speak to you. But the longer they ignore you, the more worried you get about them not speaking to you. But most of the time, it is either they are incredibly busy with work, they’re playing the Xbox or they’re at a family event.

You want attention from your partner all the time, which may lead to complications.

For me, sometimes my anxiety and depression often leads to me having this sense of loneliness as well as overthinking certain situations. Because your partner is the closest person to you, you feel the need to latch onto them, like a leech, to show that you’re not lonely after all.  But sometimes, when you crave a lot of attention from your partner, it may get up to the point where it begins to irritate them. You should simply look at their body language and facial gestures to tell how they’re feeling about the situation.

However, this irritation may also lead you into overthinking everything once again. In my relationship, whenever I force attention onto my partner, I can tell straight away when it begins to annoy him and I suddenly go into shut down mode. It causes me to become emotional and I always seem to convince myself that he does not want to be with me anymore. Leading to the feeling of being unloved and unwanted. A worry in which most people with anxiety go through.

You unintentionally lash out or become emotional in front of your partner.

 Your partner has just come from a night out with their mates and they are drunk off their face. You haven’t heard from them all night and you were worried about them. You begin to ask them questions about what they’ve done in their drunken state and they either ignore you, crash or you end up having an argument at three in the morning.

This sounds bad, but for me, whenever a situation like this occurs, I tend to throw shade at my partner if I feel like I’m not getting a response out of him. It often results into me shouting at him. I don’t mean to do so. It’s in my nature to shout to get my point across. Then I begin to cry as emotions tend to be heightened whenever I encounter situations that make me feel anxious or uncomfortable.

“I can’t do this anymore.”

Have you ever felt like it has gone up to that point in your relationship where you just want to completely give up on the relationship due to feel anxious all the time? If you’re in a relationship and not happy in it, it is quite simple what you must do…

But, in my case, I am genuinely happy being with my partner. But when my anxiety takes over, I often think that I am not good enough for him and that he deserves someone better. Social media is often my ally in these situations. It makes you say things to your partner that you would be too afraid to tell them in person. “I can’t do this anymore.” is a frequent phase I tend to say without meaning to. My anxiety often makes me say stupid things that sometimes annoy my partner, and it often makes me feel worse.

I have no means to trivialise mental health. I just want people to be aware of the observations that I have made, being diagnosed with depression and anxiety, throughout my relationship so far and the experiences that I have encountered. I am also hoping that partners who don’t go through anxiety whilst in their relationship see these signs coming from their partner. And in return, give them as much support and love to help them overcome these troubles that they will inevitably go through.